ON PURPOSE // do we choose it or does it choose us?

We’re all kind of obsessed with finding our purpose right?

Not only are we taught and fed by the billion dollar self help industry and TRILLION dollar wellness industry that it’s the key to happiness and a successful passion based business, but it’s also necessary for having a reason to get up in the morning.

So… if we aren’t clear what that is, or we’re going through a period of time when we don’t feel that elusive purpose firmly in our grasp or minds eye… does that mean we can’t be happy, or doing well in our work, or like, getting out of bed in the morning?

The truth is I believe in finding our purpose, not because it will make me a better CEO or boss babe (barf) but because I believe we all have things to fulfill and bring to earth in this lifetime and that sense of purpose is a major guiding force of finding and fulfilling that.

I want that purpose to be guided by the Divine in conjunction with my own heart.

I am in no way saying everything we do has to be from beyond ourself or from divinity. Sometimes we do things because we simply want to. Or need to. But for me I go to the coast or I eat pizza because I want to. I buy linen sheets because I want to. For better or worse when it comes to what I’m working on or writing or trying to create in the world, I tend to need some greater inspiration around it beyond my own sense of wanting. I admit at times this causes self sabotage and/or trips me up. Because I admit, when I don’t have that greater sense of what I’m doing I feel lost, and get a bit paralyzed, and am realize I can spiral into helplessness. I am very much in the study of what impulse and motivation comes from where, and instead of waiting on the Lord, recognizing that what I feel called to in my heart and creativity IS divine inspiration and that I am meant to channel my desires and impulses, towards everything, through my heart.

I was talking with a client recently about how I don’t think we choose our purpose, I think our purpose chooses us. And it doesn’t necessarily correlate to what we do for our job and work. It’s not better to base your business off of your purpose. A lot of studies show that when people work in a field they are passionate about they feel more fulfilled in their lives. And we can be passionate about many things, have a job that we feel connected to AND feel our true purpose is elsewhere and fulfill it in other ways.

I think our purpose chooses us by being revealed to us through our heart and intuition. Through what we are continuously pulled towards addressing in this world.

Maybe some people get a directive from the Divine like DO THIS, or your purpose is XYZ, but for me personally, and for a lot of people I’ve worked with and been with in healing spaces and medicine workshops, the most authentic and long lasting way a deeper mission, calling, or purpose is revealed is through inspiration and an inner impulse IN US that is reoccurring.

I’ve witnessed a good amount of the “The Divine told me to do XYZ and now I’m moving here”and honestly those missions are the ones I see peeter out or go sideways the most. Not because the Divine gives us faulty information, but because the human mind and ego have an amazing ability to inflate and manipulate information, filtering things through our filters, getting in the way, and skipping a few investigatory steps on the way to actualizing what God, or Guides, or Medicine wisdom gives us.

In my experience, a true spiritual path and purpose is collaborative and participatory. The purpose we feel to be ours in this life is like the seed of Light, and the way it grows and what it becomes is something with a lot of options and potential avenues of manifestation.

I am intentionally and purposefully not on path where all I have to do is follow orders and believe without personal investigation or examination of the directives I receive. It works with my personality to be in a dynamic relationship with God and my spirituality. To be a co-creator. I simultaneously don’t like being told what to do and sometimes am like please could someone just give me a road map. But I don’t want to do that normal societal road map. You get it. It’s a special mix. There are times when I need to and I do obey orders, but they don’t come arbitrarily. They come from the promises I’ve made, the prayers I’ve made, and the agreement and belief that God wants what is good for me.

As we are getting that continuous impulse or have some clear idea what that is, we then join that with our higher mind and third chakra (the energy of actualization, identity, and life on earth, hopefully one that is getting cleaned and aligned with serving the heart) to make a pathway in the material world to manifest that in some way.

This is an ongoing process. Not everyone gets the purpose inspiration or knowledge in a one and done download. I’d most likely not. I also think it can change and grow and that the way we put it into the world can shift based on our phase of life, and personal development and growth. The other thing about purpose is it isn’t a material substance. It’s more akin to a vibration and a knowing. Something non physical but palpable that lives inside us. So for me it’s every natural that there are times when we feel connected to it more strongly, and times when it’s more elusive or seemingly dormant. If you have a menstrual cycle, sometimes your whole luteal phase and period is like that, what the heck am I doing with my life again? Expecting to have this continuous firm unwavering grasp on something subtle and immaterial is a very third chakra western society orientation. Like we can trap and harness this spiritual inspiration for our own needs and gain.

Ok so how do we begin to discover or be open to this inspiration if we don’t feel in touch with it or are looking for more clarity?

I want to reiterate that there is nothing better or worse about turning something you’re passionate about into your work or career. It has it’s own benefits and it’s own challenges. There are strong arguments on both sides of the subject. The other thing is this knowing and energy of a deeper purpose in this life can be very subtle. Even when we are connected to it, we can go through times of feeling like what am I doing, where is that felt sense… Because it doesn’t come from our logic, it’s not always an energy with that level of palpable density.

I’m also not necessarily talking about deciding to monetize what you love or create a business out of your passions. I’m talking about a deeper process of feeling into what you feel is the way for you to contribute to Light in our world. This can result in earning money from it or not. I’m talking about a process of discovering where you’re inspired to make an impact. I also think this is a great thought exercise to do every once in a while, after periods in life of big changes, or when we are feeling uninspired.

The first step is make an examination of what you feel passionate about.

Maybe it’s something that has been a constant throughout your life. Maybe it is something new inside of you. The passion could be the same but the way you feel to express it may be different. There is no one way. Getting a sense of what that unique energy is in you is the first step. It’s also not necessary to give it a name right away. The most important thing is that you can feel the vibration of it. That’s plenty of information in and of itself. At some point it may very well coalesce with a more clear label.

For me, once I have that feeling level in my perception, I go about putting it into some material level creativity. I love to write and I’m a mind map/ven diagram lady. I write it out. I draw it. Without filter. This is purely for you and there is zero commitment to do anything with it.

The next part of the exercise is to ask yourself what, if any, is the avenue that you’d feel to express this through? And this is where I really recommend playing with opening yourself to pure intuition and the non logical mind. You may be surprised by what you envision or what pops up in your heart. And don’t worry if on the surface it makes no sense. Build a garden? Volunteer with kids? Start painting again? God shows us the next step without always giving us the context. I’m guessing if something “random” comes to you, on deeper examination, it shares some energetic signature with the deeper sense of purpose and passion you feel.

Some other things to meditate on, draw on, pray on, write on, paint on, are:

• What’s coming to you in the thought/feeling exercise?

• What avenue or venue or offering does this bring to mind?

• We are you drawn to, inspired by, touched by, hurt by, & enraged by.

When I say hurt or enraged by I don’t mean what hurts your feelings. I mean what gets you in that deeper almost unexplainable place inside you?

I think purpose has multiple levels and is not necessarily one thing or one expression.

I think it has a quality that is deeper, potentially less specific with a more broad or eternal quality. And then a shallower (like ocean depths shallow vs deep) level of how it manifests. I also think purpose can be more than one thing, or we don’t have just one. For example, someone can feel that their purpose is to spread Light and transmit the vibration of God, and to aid in the healing and liberation of women (ok I’m the example). There are a few other things that touch on, blend with, and ignite this purpose. Such as educating about what healing really is, reproductive injustice, de-conditioning from the patriarchy, shifting the culture in relation to women not having the education and tools to know how to, or feel they can, honor themselves in relation to sex, reproductive considerations, relationships of all kinds and basically existing in the world without disempowering themselves.

All of this touches me in that place of purpose. The way I manifest it is very open ended. And there are certain modes of expression I feel more connected to, and pathways that will be more open to me based on many factors. That’s what I mean by multi-leveled and multi-faceted.

We each feel called (as in literally life and God (however you conceptualize that) are calling us to help) to serve good, to give back, to make some positive impact on the world in different ways. There is so much need we need people to be passionate about all kinds of things.

The point is to learn to hear, and listen, and follow that call. And then channel the call through the heart, through a medium of service into the world.

The world needs our love. The way we feel to transmit that is open ended and up to our own heart and agreements and karma for this life. Whatever way you sincerely feel to do that is needed and will be of benefit.

xoxo Zara