I wouldn’t be into it either

I’ve been seeing some things on Instagram about healing that I think are really missing the mark. Surprise surprise.

I’m seeing a lot of “need to pause my healing era to show them why I started it in the first place” and “need to pause my healing era so I can be sassy and talk shit” and “it’s ok to pause your healing journey to like throw down on some haters and then resume” and I’m like YA’LL THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS! Also can be ban “healing era” from the lexicon. I mean there are a lot more important things to ban, like fascism, but a woman can try.

If we couldn’t be sassy on the healing path I. Would. Not. Make. It.

This whole narrative of pausing the healing work to do something that has been deemed incongruent to it gave me a window into why people are so avoidant of real healing. If you think you have to lose all your sass and attitude in order to heal… that sounds very unappealing. If you don’t think you can stand up for yourself and be committed to healing… ya that doesn’t work at all. The point of healing is to reclaim and integrate all parts of ourselves. The point is to reclaim our inner strength and belief and conviction in our worth- which usually gets knocked or diminished through trauma, societal norms, and what we go through in life. This reclaiming then allows us to be more embodied (meaning our consciousness and awareness of self actually live inside our body) and present. Which means we can stand up for ourselves and have the self trust and self respect to not remain in spaces or relationships or situations that tear us down or thrive or survive on us being disempowered.

Healing does not mean becoming a mono tone carbon copy that just smiles and nods their way through life so as not to make any waves and keep the peace.

That is literally what we are healing from!

Does healing mean knowing when to not engage or walk away? Yes.

Does it mean learning to speak you truth with love and compassion and clarity? Yes.

Does it mean we have to transform our own shadows and sneaky places and parts so we can use our fire and anger strategically and with purpose? 1000%.

The other thing implied by the “healing era” is that at some point it’s over. And that you’re then all healed? And have nothing else to work on? I am highly highly suspicious when someone tells me they have already “done all their work”.

Healing is not a destination, and the people who I see that frame it that way tend to have difficulties remaining consistent in their spiritual practice and orientation and in their commitment to their path of development and transformation whatever that may be. Framing healing as a destination that results in “being healed” means we are always chasing the unattainable. We then project that on whoever we have placed in the teacher or healer role. Inevitably when those people reveal themselves as human, and in their own ongoing healing and development, we become discouraged and disillusioned and project our own vacillation onto them, and bail once more.

In 16 years of being on a plant medicine path and having had the ongoing blessing and privilege to know and work with amazing healers and practitioners who are real human people, is that healing is a continuous life long relationship with being available to what reveals itself to us. Reveals in what comes up in us, in our lives, in our relationships and in what we have been through, for attention, awareness, Light and transformation. Healing is a path. And it can happen in many different ways and through many different formats and modalities. There are times that are more acute, where you are uncovering trauma and wounds and seeing the effect of how you developed from those things. And there are times when you don’t feel completely like you’re barely keeping you head above water with what is coming at you or with what you’re going through.

And there is no final destination of HEALED. For me the learning never ends.

It is 100% accurate that we heal and integrate certain things and they no longer have the same presence in our life or the same effect on us. And sometimes it’s not about making something go away but learning to hold it and care for it and relate to it differently. Which changes our whole experience. And is so healing and integrative.

For me, therapy and working in a plant medicine path (different than dabbling here and there with many different ones) isn’t about never feeling certain things again, but is about having way more tools and understanding of how to work with what comes up in life and along the path. The thing about choosing to be on a path of healing, or choosing that your path is about healing, is that it contextualizes your life. It’s not random that stuff comes up and it’s not random when it does. It’s not random that you get triggered in the same way by the same member of your family. Its information, that can point you to more self awareness and self knowledge. To things that can transform to create more harmony and ease in your life.

For me healing is coming into wholeness, meaning things aren’t hidden in our consciousness or in pockets of our aura and being. It means we know all of ourselves. We know our gifts and glories and our shadows and wounds that need light to become something different and become part of the whole. Healing in as orientation. The whole point is to become our full selves. Attitude and all.